Things that happened in June

  • If you guessed “munched by slugs” in the pumpkin deadpool, congratulations, it got munched by slugs.
  • I managed to bake a loaf of bread so bad that it ripped a layer of metal off the baking tray.
  • I’m in the process of attempting to build a raised bed out of wooden pallets, but frankly, these pallets have been abandoned in that hedge for so long that they’re a bit on the fungal side and I don’t particularly want to power-sand them even with a dust mask.
  • My tomato plants are dying because I keep forgetting to fertilise them.
  • I have a single chilli growing on my chilli plants; I am proud; I am a mother witnessing her child slowly expanding and turning redder/more damaging to eyes.
  • One of my lilies has flowered, and I was briefly happy until I read that they’re extremely toxic to cats so I have to get rid of them. (In fact, pretty much everything I’m growing, from the lavender to the ivy to the apple tree, isn’t that great for cats.)
  • Speaking of cats, Squadron Commander Lord Fluffarse continues to stare malevolently at me. The other neighbourhood cats, Skullator and Snarl Marx, also do so but the latter stares malevolently at everything so I’m not taking that personally.
  • I spent a while attempting a photo tutorial of restoring a rusty horseshoe. This mostly involved soaking a horseshoe in vinegar for several days, scrubbing it, and making low growling noises at it. It did not work. Somehow it looks worse. There’s a superstition that it’s bad luck to hang a horseshoe upside down so I have deliberately done that as an extremely tenuous excuse for why my baking is terrible.
  • EXCEPT – last night I baked bread rolls that were actually edible. I intend to attempt a repeat of this tonight.

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